It has been two years since we did not get the chance to say goodbye.
We should have been celebrating and laughing
But instead I died inside that day you were taken from me.
Presents were left unopened
And I could not bear to read the card you sent me
Telling me you loved me with all your heart, always
And that this was the start of something long and beautiful together.
Instead you were lying in the street
Heart beating for me no more,
Your skin ashen and cold
When it used to be so warm when you touched me.
Never again will I get to look in your eyes
And tell you I love you,
Or fall asleep together feeling like there was no one else in the world.
Instead I visit a grave on my birthday
And find that my smile died with you.

Sometimes I think I see you in the street
And I forget, only to break all over again
When I realise that it is not you.
You visit me while I dream to stop the tears
But I cannot smile with you
Cannot laugh without you
Cannot live without you.

People still smile sympathetically when they see me in the street
Or cross the road so they do not have to make small talk with me,
When all I need is for someone to see me, not you in my eyes.

I obsess over butterflies
And the smallest things set me off,
A song,
A colour,
Films we used to watch together.
I wanted us to be for all time
But instead we had the shortest time,
Full of love but so cruelly destroyed
By a man who had no right to be here.

I could scream murder and point guilty fingers
But he has to live with it every single day for the rest of his life,
Knowing that he took a seventeen year old girl from her family
And from me, on my birthday, of all days.

You never got the chance to drink in a nightclub
Or to get the butterfly tattoo you so often talked about,
So I will do these things for you,
Because when I feel hollow
You fill me up
And when I feel lost
You help me find my way.

We will be together again one day,
And I cannot wait for that moment when I will be able to hold you in my arms
And tell you how much you mean to me
Because I hate thinking everyday that you might not have known,
That I love you,
and always will.